


I can't stand it

by Yan (vamp_dad_yan)



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Internal Conflict, M/M, POV First Person, Persona 5 Spoilers, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 19:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17168258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vamp_dad_yan/pseuds/Yan
Summary: There are only so many things you can hate about the person you love.





	I can't stand it

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose you could call this a bit of a character study?  
> This is generally the dynamic Goro has towards Akira in my portrayal, not much more.

_I can't stand it._

The way he looks at me, his eyes gentle, smile genuine. His warm breath that carries a faint scent of coffee as he laughs at my jokes. The warmth in my chest and the comfort of our late night talks.

_I can't stand any of it._

The way my hand hesitates on the trigger, his steel coloured eyes staring at the gun. His eyes that grow glassy with tears, a natural reaction and yet they are hypnotizing as they glide down his bruised face. This heavy feeling that tears me apart, this guilt, but there is one more thing...

The wish to grab those messy black locks of hair, to pull them until that low and hoarse voice cries out. The sickening desire to kiss away all the pain I want to inflict on him. This empty wish to love him with all my being, to kiss his swollen and slit lips, run my gloved hands over his wounds and brusies, all the while tearing him apart.

_I hate this._

_It's unbearable._

The fact his hands are free, the fact he can struggle. The knowledge of how he could easily take the gun from my hands, how he could be the one to kill me here, put an end to a pathetic existence. The way his hair moves, how the skin on his forhead gives in until the cold metal is pressing against the skull. His lack of words, just a smile before I feel the gun's kickback and his head falls backwards.

_It's killing me._

_It's agonising._

His crying voice, overflowing with desperation. His relentless attempts to save this creature, no, this monster, rid of all thought. His final declaration of love. His tears that pour from beneath the mask as those steel doors, the same colour as his eyes, seperate us. His cries of my name from the other side.

_It's disgusting._

_I despise it._

His smile that flashes before my eyes as the trigger is pulled.

_I resent it._

**_The way I loved him._ **


End file.
